"I told my mom about why Tony went to China, why we saved you but she didn't understand it just made her blame you. And the more time I spend with her the more I think she's right, but I don't want to agree with her. My friends from before, there's so much they don't know and more I can't tell them and they didn't understand why I went back to Tony in the first place." She's talking now, unable to stop herself.

"Tony's family only makes me feel guilty and Alex, he would probably beat you up if he had the chance, and by siding with you I feel like I'm betraying them." She whispers, more into the shirt than to him.

"I love Chris - but I can't ask anymore of her and sometimes I - I hear Tony and feel him with me but I know he's not here and will never be here again, not even - not even in the bar." She clenches her jaw, her neck muscles tightening from the strain. "No matter who died it would have broke someone, but I - god help me sometimes I wish it wasn't me."