Anniversary
Sep. 20th, 2005 04:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
September 19. September 20. Michelle's wedding on the 18th made it easy to forget the pain the next day held. She wakes up in the middle of the night from a nightmare she can barely remember but she tastes copper. Tony is sleeping soundly and she slips out of bed, not wanting to wake him.
She makes her way into the bathroom to rinse out her mouth and the sight of her blood in the sink almost makes her scream. It takes a moment for her to realize she must have bitten the inside of her cheek.
Just a nightmare, just a nightmare, just an anniversary, nothing can hurt me now...
Two years ago on this date, her world crumbled. She looks down at the ring on her finger and rubs her thumb over the simple band.
The names of people who died in the hotel come back to her and she doesn't try to stop them. Her therapist said that this is healthy.
Remember the dead and the losses but don't let it become the focus of your life
I'm not infected, don't put me in there with them...I don't want to harm you...Don't move...You killed him! You were supposed to protect him/us/them. This pill is like going to sleep.
She takes a deep breath and shakily lets it out.
Killed in the line of duty, you killed him, couldn't stop it, should have gotten him much earlier, have to let Saunders re-capture me. Killed in the line of duty.
When she thinks she can move without breaking she goes back into the bedroom and sits in the reading chair. She curls up and looks at Tony sleeping, his image blurring in front of her.
It was an impossible choice.