Woman from Division

[ooc: After this]

Michelle runs across the grass, still trying to get a deep breath, still failing. But she needs to get to the tree, needs to be there. Because, Tony will be there, and she won't have to face this and he'll be reaching for her hand and then it'll be okay.

If she tries she can get away from her thoughts, but alcohol won't work and she can't face the truth or the possible truth and he told her it was just a dream and she held onto that like a child holds onto the Tooth Fairy. When he came back, when he shied from her touch, when she thought she heard screams, she was able to write those off but the truth...he'd never tell the truth.

Hurt because of her, because Saunders put him in an impossible situation and that fucking bastard was in the bar and oh God Michelle wanted to make him pay, she wanted to...her gun was upstairs...she could find him...

Reaching the tree, but Tony wasn't there and she slumped against it, hiding her face in her hands and the air was heavy and she sunk to the ground, crying like she hasn't cried in years and unable to stop.

[ooc: After this]

When Michelle steps through the door she expects to feel something. But, instead, it is like exiting any other room. Suddenly, the bar is gone and she finds herself in front of an unfamiliar apartment door. She's disoriented for a few moments as she tries to figure out how she got there and why. She's too logical to try and go back. Beyond that door was a bar. If she told anyone they'd think she was insane. Especially anyone at work. She no longer remembers her original reason for being here, and since Tony doesn't live here anymore (if he ever did), it's hard to figure out.

She starts to walk and almost trips, what the hell? Right, needing to get used to high heels again. Back in the real world.

Outside, her car is where she left it months earlier, but there's no dust on it, no tickets or a boot. She opens the door and it starts easily, as if she'd only been gone for a few moments. She pulls out her cell phone and sees the date, the same date she left. She blinks, not sure how that's possible and instinctively touches her head, wondering if maybe the entire thing had been a delusion. But she doesn't feel any injury and when she goes to put her cell phone back, her hand brushes against plastic.

She pulls out the bag and cradles it gently in her hands - it's the lily that Tony gave her, the proof that any of it really happened. She smiles and then remembers the other things. Her smile fades as she puts the lily back into her purse and she taps her fingers against the steering wheel. She looks at the time, it's too late to call anyone, but she...no, she'll call Jack tomorrow. Just to make sure of...of what Michelle? That he remembers the bar? That you're not crazy? That...

She drives back to her townhouse, somehow managing to remember where she lived, and not getting into accidents on the way.

When she gets into bed later she has the thought that she feels like something - someone is missing. There are pillows on the other side of the bed, but no one sleeps there and she would hold onto one of them but she knows that they won't smell like Tony, so they'll be useless.

She lies on her back and looks up at the ceiling. It's only a month, you can do a month, a month isn't so bad...

But she can't sleep and she reaches for the remote control.

She flips through the guide for a few minutes and finds herself stopping on Attack of the Clones. She looks over to tell Tony something, before remembering all over again that he's not there.

She falls asleep to the sounds of light sabers and guns.

After this, Michelle comes into the room. She shouldn't have told Chris. What the hell was she thinking trying to convey it to Tony through stick figures and written words? She doesn't know. Part of her still can't and doesn't want to believe it.

She sits on the couch and waits for Tony to come back upstairs.