(no subject)

[chelleuncurled]

Michelle wakes up in Tony's arms and holds him closer for a moment. She feels his breath against her skin, the way his head rests against hers, and she thinks that she's going to miss him.

She doesn't want to let him go, but she knows that she has to - knows that things have to happen in a certain order, in a certain way.

It's only about a month for me, that's not too long, I can be without him for a month...

He said he's leaving today. Which means that he's leaving. She doesn't let herself really think about the future.

She takes a breath, willing herself not to cry, because there's nothing to cry over. They have a future together, they just need to live through the next month apart. Jack is going back to certain death, compared to that, this is a minor sacrifice.

But she wishes that it didn't hurt so much.

Comments

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

In his sleep he feels a little movement in the bed. Opening his eyes, he looks down at Michelle and smiles. “Hey.”

[chelleuncurled]

She'd turned over to look at him and now looks up. I'll miss that smile.

"Hey,"

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

He can see the anxiety in her eyes. He places a hand on her neck and gently rubs it, though he’s sure he’ll start feeling that anxiety himself.

This will be the last time he’ll be in bed with Michelle for months. Hadn’t they spent enough time together for the past four days he would’ve begged for more time, but he had set this date for a reason: to face his future, no matter how much he wanted to stall. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to leave. Not just yet. The hand drops as Tony pulls his arm around her back.

[chelleuncurled]

She wraps her arm around his neck and leans her forehead against his shoulder.

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

A kiss against her hair, eyes closing. Tony purses his lips together and tries not to sigh—sighing leads to sadness, which leads to tears. There was no need to make this separation any more painful.

“I have to go today,” he whispers.

[chelleuncurled]

She closes her eyes at the kiss. Tony always found small ways to comfort her since he knew that she hated to ask for comfort and hated even more to admit that she needed it.

"I know you do," she touches his face, feeling stubble against her fingertips.

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

His fingers are placed in her hair, no longer entwined because of its lack of curl. “I don’t want to go. But I have to.”

[chelleuncurled]

"It's okay. It was my decision. This is what has to happen."

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

He nods, and sighs. “I need to take a shower.”

[chelleuncurled]

Reluctantly she kisses his forehead and pulls away.

"I'll be here when you get out."

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

“Yeah,” he whispers, and pushes the sheets away from him, walking to the bathroom. In some ways he is glad Michelle didn’t join him. He needs time to think, alone, but as the shower starts and the water starts to fall the only thing he can think of his how much he’ll miss her.

And whether this was truly necessary or not.

And whether he’d act too out of place and call attention to himself.

And whether his actions or lack of actions could ruin the future.

He spends some time leaning against the wall, water soaking his thick hair.

[chelleuncurled]

Michelle lays in bed for a few more minutes, but she can't fall asleep again and she moves a little to lay her head against his still warm pillow.

She closes her eyes and clenches her jaw, her breathing is slightly labored and she allows herself to squeeze the pillow tightly for a moment, her nails digging into the cotton.

She opens her eyes and slips out of bed, it's time to get dressed.

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

Tony emerges from the bathroom with a white towel tied around his waist. Michelle is hovering around the drawer, dressing, and soon his arms are around her waist.

[chelleuncurled]

She tenses for a moment since her attention was elsewhere and then relaxes.

Her hands rest on top of his. "All clean?"

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

“Yup.” He kisses her cheek. “Now I just need to get dressed.” He removes his arms from her waist and begins digging through the drawer for some clothes. His hand stops over dark gray t-shirt, which he chooses along with a pair of faded jeans.

[chelleuncurled]

She pulls on a short sleeved shirt and a skirt. Then, she clips part of her hair back. In some ways she looks like she's ready for a game of tennis.

She rests her hands against the dresser and takes a breath when she's sure he's not watching and then turns back to him.

"Are you bringing anything?"

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

“A matchbook,” he says, pulling out a jacket from the closet.

[chelleuncurled]

She nods, "When I leave...I'm bringing this." She rummages through her drawer for a moment and pulls out a small plastic bag.

"It's...the lily you gave me."

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

He smiles. “I gave you a lot of lilies.”

[chelleuncurled]

She smiles too, "But this was the first one."

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

He looks down for a moment. “You know…this matchbook…there’s room in here for something other than matches. Not something big but…a little thing to remember you by.”

[chelleuncurled]

She looks around for a moment and then remembers something in her bag.

She thinks it should fit in the matchbook.

She'd had extra copies of her key made a few days before coming here, one to give to a neighbor in case of emergency. But she'd never found time to drop it off.

Now, she hands him the key. "I hope that'll fit."

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

A key?

“If I take out some of the matches, yeah.” He walks over to the nightstand where the matchbook is, opening the book and removing the first row of matches. He places the key across the bottom row and closes the book with some difficulty.

“Not a perfect fit, but it works.” He looks at her. “What’s this the key to?”

[chelleuncurled]

"My home," she walks over and places her hand on his upper back. "If you ever feel lost, just remember that this is only temporary."

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

He looks at her and nods. “All right,” then leans over to kiss her. “Thanks.”

[chelleuncurled]

She kisses him back, not wanting to pull away but knowing that if she doesn't they'll never leave the room.

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

And Tony would want nothing more than to stay in this room with her forever if that didn’t mean delaying an even better future. Still, he places his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, kissing her deeply, his tongue parting her lips in a fruitless effort not to let go though he knows he can’t have her again for many months.

Would he find himself standing at her door with the key, not willing to knock or open it? Would he be too afraid to admit he was lost? Would he push her away again, get wrapped up in the act of not knowing the future and forget her? Or would he find himself at her house before it was time, begging her to let him in because he couldn’t stand the act anymore?

[chelleuncurled]

Michelle lets herself enjoy this for a few more moments, running her fingers through his hair, sliding her hand down to his neck.

But, she has to be the logical one. The strong one.

She pulls away with a weak and apologetic smile.

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

He allows himself a few moments to catch his breath and feel the disappointment of that moment ending, his forehead resting against hers.

“We should go downstairs now.”

[chelleuncurled]

She takes a shaky breath and lets it out, pulling away but holding onto his hand.

"Okay."

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

He nods, picks up a letter he left on the nightstand, then looks back to Michelle. "You ready?"

[chelleuncurled]

She squeezes his hand as an answer.

It's better that he leaves now, but at least she knows he's going back to his sister and San Francisco and so he'll be okay.

[iwasalevel6.livejournal.com]

Ah, I wouldn't be too sure about that...but Tony doesn't know, either, so, Michelle's hand in his, they begin to go downstairs