By the Tree

[chelleuncurled]

[ooc: After this]

Michelle runs across the grass, still trying to get a deep breath, still failing. But she needs to get to the tree, needs to be there. Because, Tony will be there, and she won't have to face this and he'll be reaching for her hand and then it'll be okay.

If she tries she can get away from her thoughts, but alcohol won't work and she can't face the truth or the possible truth and he told her it was just a dream and she held onto that like a child holds onto the Tooth Fairy. When he came back, when he shied from her touch, when she thought she heard screams, she was able to write those off but the truth...he'd never tell the truth.

Hurt because of her, because Saunders put him in an impossible situation and that fucking bastard was in the bar and oh God Michelle wanted to make him pay, she wanted to...her gun was upstairs...she could find him...

Reaching the tree, but Tony wasn't there and she slumped against it, hiding her face in her hands and the air was heavy and she sunk to the ground, crying like she hasn't cried in years and unable to stop.

Comments

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"I know, Michelle. But that's the nature of the illness. It doesn't just just go away, it usually doesn't even just keep improving gradually. There are ups and downs, and it may never go away completely. And it won't, while Tony doesn't deal with a lot of things."

[chelleuncurled]

"I think we're all good at avoiding things," she swallows - can finally swallow and breathe without sobbing.

She takes a shaky breath and lets it out, loosening her hands which had been gripping the ground, feeling dirt under her nails.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I think we are. A little too good at it," he says softly.

[chelleuncurled]

"I can't believe I just..." She hides her face with her hand.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"Just what?"

[chelleuncurled]

"Had that reaction."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"Michelle, you've been under a lot of stress lately, and this was something you obviously didn't want to think about. I don't blame you fro reacting like you did."

[chelleuncurled]

"I don't like people to see me like this," she says after a moment. "I didn't...wanted to seem stronger."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"I think all of us do, Michelle," he says with a grim smile.

[chelleuncurled]

She looks up at him, "Don't tell Tony about this."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He shakes his head. "I won't. He doesn't need to know about this right now."

[chelleuncurled]

"Thank you," she whispers. "And it's not your fault either."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He gives her a small smile, though he knows he might not ever really believe it, even if he keeps telling himself that. "Thanks. You ready to head inside, or do you want to stay out here for a while?"

[chelleuncurled]

She doesn't want to go back inside but she knows if she doesn't leave now, she might wind up spending the night out here.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"Okay," he says, smiling a little more and standing, offering her a hand up.

[ooc: Feel free to wrap, I've got to go to work. :-P]

[chelleuncurled]

She accepts the offer of help and holding onto his hand she manages to stand, her body just a little drained from her breakdown.

She grabs onto his arm for a moment and stays standing.

[ooc: I think one or two more comments...]

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He grabs her arm with his other hand as she teeters a little. "You okay?" he asks, a little concerned.

[ooc: One last post before I head out. ;-)]

[chelleuncurled]

She nods, "Just need to lie down."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"Well let's get you to your room first," he says, and with his hand on her arm to steady her, he leads her toward the bar.