(no subject)

[chelleuncurled]

Placeholder for Chris. Placeholder with description of TV and pajamas. Placeholder.

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[chelleuncurled]

"You don't seem all that enthused about it," Michelle observes.

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"It's just a little awkward for me to talk about Jack, or my relationship with him."

[chelleuncurled]

"I can understand that, but it's also kind of obvious that you need to..."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

Chris rubs her hands together, it's a nervous gesture. "I just..."

She looks down at her hands. "I don't know what people must think of me. Or maybe I do."

[chelleuncurled]

"What do you think people think of you?"

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"I'm with the man who killed my father."

[chelleuncurled]

She purses her lips and thinks for a moment. "That's a fact, not a feeling, Chris. And Jack...yes, he pulled the trigger, but it was in a way, your father's decision. He chose to sacrifice himself."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

She runs her hand through her hair. "That's what my dad said."

[chelleuncurled]

"It's how you have to think of it. When I entered the hotel, I chose death over life. I didn't expect to come out. We're...we're expected to put our lives on the line. Jack pulled the trigger and I know he feels responsible but Stephen Saunders is the man who killed your father," her voice goes a little rough and her eyes narrow slightly as she finishes.

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"I know that," she says quietly.

"I just can't shake the feeling I'm betraying my father or my family somehow. Sometimes I wonder how I'll face them again when I go home."

[chelleuncurled]

She nods a little, "Why are you with Jack?"

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"I care about him. I like being with him. He makes me happy," she answers with a small sad smile.

Happy as long as I don't think too much about the past or the future we can't have.

[chelleuncurled]

"But you also feel guilty...so you can't be too happy."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

She rubs her forehead. "I know it doesn't make too much sense but when I'm with him, I'm happy. Happier than I am when I'm not."

Oh God, her answers sounded pathetic to her own ears. She couldn't imagine how they must sound to Michelle.

[chelleuncurled]

Oh she really wants a cigarette right now.

"But when you're not with him...you have all these thoughts?"

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Sometimes, when I think about it."

[chelleuncurled]

"I'm not going to lie to you Chris...I can't really see a future here."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

Chris looks away.

"Neither can I."

[chelleuncurled]

She looks at her with some sympathy, "I believe that if things are going to end...it's better to end things quickly before anyone can really get hurt."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

Chris hadn't thought about it from that angle. Now that Jack had told her he loved her, maybe she should.

Maybe it would be better to end things now...

"Michelle, if you don't mind, I think I'm going to go to my room and rest. Maybe we could watch the show another time?"

[chelleuncurled]

"Are you feeling okay?" Michelle hadn't really realized she was giving advice.

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

Chris gets to her feet.

"I'm just tired. I think the alcohol is kicking in." It was but that wasn't the only reason she was leaving. Right now she wanted to be alone with her thoughts.

[chelleuncurled]

"Okay...I can understand that. Get some water before you go to sleep." Michelle says sort of helpfully. "I'll see you later, Chris." She stands to walk her to the door.

Things are starting to connect in her mind and she realizes she might have said something she can't take back.

She's probably just tired...

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Later, Michelle," she says before leaving.

She wasn't sure how she was going to sleep tonight.

[chelleuncurled]

Michelle gives her a small smile, "Bye Chris." She closes the door and walks back to the couch. She sits down and then she realizes exactly what she just did.

She can't tell Tony and she can only hope that Chris decides against taking her accidental advice. She hadn't meant to say that, really, but since she said it she can't pretend she meant anything else.

"Dammit," she whispers and she really wants a cigarette.